


Tragedy

by Withthebeatlesgirls



Category: Eric Clapton (Musician)
Genre: F/M, I dont ship btw, I just find their relationship interesting, Mentions of drugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:28:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25927387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Withthebeatlesgirls/pseuds/Withthebeatlesgirls
Summary: “…I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.”- Pablo NerudaEric's pov on his torrid affair with Pattie.
Relationships: Pattie Boyd/Eric Clapton
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	Tragedy

**Author's Note:**

> Lol Idk why I decided to write this I was just bored and been on some kind of Clapton kick lately, yikes right? But damn Layla is just such a good album. Tried my best to make Clapton act tragic, whiny, desperate, and annoyingly entitled. And the reason I chose that Pablo Neruda quote for the description is because I feel like it sums up how Eric felt during this period. Anyways, enjoy :)

_ “ I can write the saddest poem of all tonight. _

_ I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.” _

__ _ - _ _ Pablo Neruda _

  
  


_ _________________________________________________ _

  
  


He was obsessed.

Obsessed with his best friend’s wife, it was wrong he knew that, but did he care? Well, sometimes he did.

Sometimes he felt deep guilt over what he was doing to George, the fact that he desired the man’s wife in every sense of the word, but on darker days he felt deep anger and jealousy towards George. He was the one thing preventing him and Pattie’s love to reach its full potential. He was greatly annoyed that this man seemed to have everything he wanted in life and didn’t seem to care.

He knew that he had no choice, but to confess to Pattie. He knew his feelings were pretty obvious, he broke up with his girlfriend due to him he knew he could no longer continue to be with her while he felt such intense feelings for Pattie.

He had no choice to let his feelings known, so he sent her a letter saying this:

_ “Dearest L… I am writing this note to you, with the main purpose of ascertaining your feelings toward a subject well known to both of us… as you have probably gathered, my own home affairs are a galloping farce, which is rapidly degenerating day by intolerable day… it seems like an eternity since I last saw or spoke to you! however, all of this is not to the point… what I wish to ask you is if you still love your husband, or if you have another lover? all these questions are very impertinent I know, but if there is still a feeling in your heart for me… you must let me know! in fact, you must let me know whatever your feelings are… don’t telephone! send a letter… that is much safer. please do this, whatever it may say, my mind will be at rest… all my love E” _

He knew it might be a little intense, but he had to make his feelings to her as clear as possible.

Later that night when he went over to George’s to see Pattie, the minute George left the room he went to her and whispered “Did you get my letter?”

“Letter? What letter?” She asked in confusion, but then her eyes widened in realization “That was you?”

He nods “Do you have an answer for me?”

She stares at him for a moment, completely stunned and then tells him in a whisper “Um, come over tomorrow around 1 pm, we can discuss this.”

He couldn’t help but form a smile as hope began to form in his heart.

Once George walked back in they both turned away from each other guiltily. Eric couldn’t help, but steal glances at Pattie for the rest of the night and he noticed that sometimes she’d look back at him ever so subtly. 

The next day when he was over to talk to her she gave them each a glass of wine and asked “Do you really mean it? What you said in the letter?”

He nodded “Yes, and what of your feelings?”

“I’m married.” Is all she said.

This did not discourage him “That doesn’t answer my question, does it?” 

“Doesn’t it though? I’m a married woman, what more is there to discuss?” 

“Clearly there is more to discuss because you invited me over.” He reminded her.

She sighed “I don’t know.”

“Be honest with me,” He moves closer to her “Are you truly happy with your marriage?”

There was a moment of silence, she looked conflicted for a moment and answered: “No, not really.”

“Then why stay? I adore you, George isn’t appreciating what he has but I can!” He insists, and he sees her conflict.

Deciding this was his chance, he leans in and kisses her, and to his utter amazement and joy, she kissed him back. As he tried to deepen the kiss she pulled back, he attempted to follow her lips, but she turned away. He already missed kissing her.

She shook her head “That was wrong I shouldn’t have done that. Unhappy or not, I am still married to George and this is wrong.”

“You do realize he fools around with people, right?” He asked and quickly regretted it when he saw the flash of her hurt in her eyes.

“Just please leave, I’m sure he’ll be home soon.” 

It baffled him that she knew that George was disloyal to her yet she wished to remain loyal to him. He could only pray he would be able to change her mind.

Despite Eric’s claims of devotion and love to Pattie he still, of course, slept with other women. One of them being Pattie’s own sister, Paula. He saw Paula as a substitute Pattie, but of course she eventually caught on and broke up with him. He wasn’t bothered by it.

He continued to try to persuade Pattie to leave her husband, at first she was very stern when telling him, no, but slowly she began to entertain the idea.

One day he went over to George and Pattie’s in hopes to catch a moment alone with her, which he was able to do. George wasn’t home, giving him the perfect opportunity to see her.

“Come on you know you’re unhappy, leave him.” He pleaded with her.

She had a pretty blush on her face and said, “I don’t know.”

The fact that it wasn’t an exact no meant everything to him. 

This little game of theirs continued. Sometimes she played along with him, played with his heart, she’d flash him a beautiful smile, flirt with him, when they sat next to each other their knees would be touching. 

But, she still refused to leave George. It enraged him, he saw the whole thing as a tragedy. Why did the woman he loved have to be married? Even worse, did she have to be married to his best friend?

When he read the story of Layla and Majnun it spoke to him deeply, it was exactly how he felt towards Pattie. She was his Layla and he was her Majnun. But is that what his fate was? To go mad with love for her? He felt like that horrible fate was beginning, he felt it was impossible that he’d ever love a woman as much as he loved Pattie.

He began to pour his feelings into his music, forming a band with a few mates and writing his songs that expressed his desperation for Pattie.

He went over to see her as he usually did, and she seemed pleased to see him as well.

“I’m going to Miami soon, to record a new album.” He tells her.

“Oh,” She takes a moment to process this “Do you think you could get me these pairs of jeans that are flared not straight bottoms?”

“Bellbottoms?” He wanted to clarify.

She nodded “Yes! They’re so cute, I really want a pair.”

“I can do that,” He nodded, happy to please her.

She smiled “Thank you so much,” She said and then gave a cute little pout “I am going to miss you though.”   
  


“I’ll miss you too, more than you could ever understand.” He promised her.

She sighed “George has just been really grumpy lately, he doesn’t seem to even look in my direction anymore.”

“Then why are you still with him?” He asks “Come with me, live with me.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It’s so simple!” His voice got louder “You’re unhappy, and I could make you happy. Why not come with me?”

“I still love George.” She told him in a soft voice.

Overcome with frustration and not knowing what to do he threw his glass of wine at the wall, Pattie gasped and put her hands over her head, almost as though she thought she needed to defend herself.

He left without even apologizing. 

What did he have to do? What more could he do to make her leave George? Does she want him to crawl across the floor to her and beg? He’d gladly do that if it meant she’d be with him.

Then he remembered how he was going to have to buy her those jeans, the minute he thought about it he felt that sting of rejection again. It caused him to begin to write the track ‘Bell Bottom Blues’.

When he went to Miami he did have fun, he was just hanging around with his mates, enjoying the company of some women, but he still was miserable over Pattie.

Her modeling photos were all over his room, sometimes he stared at them for long periods of time. Depressing over the fact that he’d never be able to have her.

He would talk about Pattie to anyone who was willing to listen, how tragic the whole situation was and why did it have to happen to him? Most of the time his friends would be sympathetic, other times he could tell they were struggling to listen to it. He didn’t care, he just needed to talk about her; his mind could think of nothing else to discuss. 

Once they recorded the album and he returned home, he gave Pattie the pair of Bellbottoms she requested.

“Aw, thank you.” She said with a gorgeous smile, she did not mention his little tantrum he had the last time they saw each other and he was grateful for that.

“It’s no problem.”

“Should I try them on?” She asked.

“Sure, although I already know for a fact that they’ll look great on you.”

She blushed and raised an eyebrow “How do you know that?”

“Because everything looks great on you.” 

She giggled and then went into the bathroom to try them on. When she came out she did a cute little catwalk “How do I look?”

“As I predicted, you look great.” 

She smiled at him, and he smiled back for a moment. Then his face grew more serious as he looked at her beautiful face, his pain and frustration getting deeper as he thought he would never be able to call the girl of his dreams his.

Her face grew concerned “What’s wrong?”

“I need you,” He cried “Please, we could be so happy.”

She said nothing, only giving him a sympathetic look. Perhaps she was frightened to reject him over what happened last time.

He apologized then changed the subject. He knew there was no point in pleading now, he needed to wait until she heard the album.

Not that long after that, he invited her over to his place to listen to the album. He knew the song ‘Layla’ was the most important song and thought it was his best chance to get through to her.

He put the song on and he sat down next to her, carefully watching her reaction. The minute the singing began he saw her facial expression changed, as she realized this was clearly about her.

He played the song for her two more times, wanting her to fully process all of it.

They began to listen to the other songs on the album as he asked “What did you think?”

“Everyone is going to know that it’s about me.” She said as she stared at the wall.

He felt so annoyed at how ungrateful she seemed, she should have been so overwhelmed by his cries of love that she’d jump happily in arms, but she only cared about what other people would think? “Is that all you have to say?”

She stared at him for a moment and without any warning, she kissed him. He was shocked. Is she finally giving in? Overjoyed he kissed her back with all the passion he had to keep contained for far too long.

There was hope, there was actual hope now.

That day they made love. He felt no other time he had been with a woman could compare to what he had just experienced. 

When she began to get dressed he got up, feeling nervous that she was going to leave him and never come back “Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry, I just have to go back to the house to get ready for a party later.” She explained and he felt relieved that she just wasn’t running away from him again.

“I’ll see you there.” He told her. 

When they were at the party they spent the entire night in the garden talking to each other. When he told her how he wants to be with her forever she agreed and said how that nice sounds. This entire time he thought he never would be able to have her, but now as he looked into her eyes he felt their love now had a chance.

That feeling quickly died, as he saw Pattie look away and her eyes widened in fear and shock.

He was going to ask what’s wrong, but then he saw that it was George walking over to them.

“Pattie I’ve been asking everyone where you’ve been,” he asked and he looked at both her and Eric accusingly “What the bloody hell is going on?

He looked so angry, but Eric knew it was finally time to confess to George “I gotta tell you, man, I’m in love with your wife.”

George stared at him for a moment, guilt pierced through Eric’s heart as he saw the deep hurt in his eyes.

“Well,” George said, turning to Pattie “Are you going home with or with me?”

Eric felt his heart shatter, knowing right then and there that the deal was off.

He thought he was going to die when Pattie said the words “George, of course, I’m going home with you.”

Nothing more was said, George grabbed Pattie’s hand and they both left without a goodbye.

Once Eric got home he took the record of his album and in his rage punched it and it broke. He began to stump on it until it was broken until little pieces.

It was all for nothing. She refused him, that’s all she ever did. He was an idiot for believing he had a chance, maybe she did love him, but she would always go back to George. Nothing was fair.

He was now at his limit. He remembered how he did try heroin, and it was one of the most wonderful feelings in the world, in fact, he still had some that he had yet to use, he hadn’t become a full-blown addict. He knew that Pattie wouldn’t approve, perhaps he could use that against her. 

  
For the next month, he just continued to beg and plead with her to leave George, but was always met with rejection. She made it perfectly clear that she had no intention of leaving her husband.

So one day he unexpectedly showed up at Friar Park, knowing that George was away.

She invited him in and they had a glass of wine together, they kept the conversation casual at first, but then Eric decided to bite the bullet.

“I am desperately in love with you,” He tells her, she says nothing this is new information to nobody “And I cannot live without you. You must go away with me, I  _ need _ you in my life. You must leave George right now.”

“Eric, are you mad?” She asked “I can’t possibly. I am married to George.”

He began to shake his head, he can’t take this anymore he can’t take her constant refusal “No, no, no! I love you. I have to have you in my life.”

She stares at him for a moment before just replying “No,”

He now knew what he had to do, he produced a small packet from his pocket and held it out towards her “If you aren’t coming with me, I am going to take this.”

“What is it?”

“Heroin.”

“Don’t be stupid,” She said and attempted to grab it from him but he tightened his grip and put it back in his pocket.

“This is your last chance, be with me or I will take this. I swear.” He knew this was manipulation, but he didn’t care; he was too desperate to care about anything.

She gave him a sad smile and shook his head “I’m sorry.”

“If you’re not going to come with me,” he said, “that’s it. I’m off.” He leaves, he hoped she was going to go after him, but she didn’t.

All of his love had been in vain.

He locked himself in his home and did do heroin. Perhaps he was truly meant to be alone forever, to die of unrequited love.

After all, she was Layla and he was Majnun, they were destined for tragedy. 

**Author's Note:**

> What do you guys think? I bet in little references to things I've heard about during that time too. Like Eric in fact did have Pattie's modeling photos all over his room, one of his friends at the time said that in his documentary and while him throwing the glass never actually happened in front of Pattie Chris O'Dell does say in her book that Eric came over once with his friends and was going on and on about Pattie and out of nowhere threw his glass against the wall so that's why I put that in there.


End file.
